I love me some old nail polish in the morning.

Hiiii! I got a super exciting package in the mail a few days ago! MissHavisham on MUA caused my lemmings for these (to put it lightly) friggin’ awesome polishes, and I thought they would be available to me somewhere in the realm of NEVER, but thanks to the nailboard, I found them! I didn’t even have to resort to evilbay!

Anyway, without further ado, I present: Toma Metallic Illllllluuuuuuusions! (Very magical.)

Starting off with Toma Meltdown on Mars, two coats. It’s an AMAZING dark purple-brown-gold-green… quadruplechrome? It’s awesome. It also applied extremely nicely. You NEED this.


Toma Stellar Stormwatch. ONE COAT! Pink-gold duochrome. This one wasn’t as fanTABulously duochrome-y, and took a little more work to get it to show (as opposed to just looking at my hands for Meltdown on Mars), but it’s still entirely amazing.

This one was a little thicker than Meltdown on Mars, but that could have been because my bottle was left open for a little bit.


Toma Milky Way. Two coats. MMMMMMMMMM. This was SO pretty. I wore this for a full manicure on Thursday and I had multiple people grab my hands to tell me how amazing this polish was. Blue-green duochrome. I admit, I was expecting this one to be a jelly from swatches, but I just can’t bring myself to be disappointed.

I think the one complaint I have is the bottle/cap shape.

Trying to paint with that tiny cap was difficult and frustrating and the hole at the top of the bottle is so HUGE I was afraid of spilling it all the time.


I spent the day swatching and watching Pushing Daisies yesterday, so expect more posts and if I give into my indulgences, whining about how fat my ass has gotten from the bucket of pie I’ve eaten. (Don’t watch shows about pies. It’s just not a good idea.)

You can find these at LotionSource! (Along with some Nubars, which I also picked up.)


Happy belated S.A.D!

I knowwwwww, I did a V-Day post already! BUT I HAVE AWESOME STUFF TO SHOW YOU!

ChG Ruby Pumps (two coats), Zoya Trixie+LMN Crazy For You on rings. I’m about halfway through my bottle of Ruby Pumps (DISREGARD THE FACT THAT IT SPILLED ON A PLANE RIDE…), and it’s mostly because I really effing love it. It applies really well, and I usually only have to do two coats. I wore this a lot around the holidays, because HEY! LOOK! FESTIVE! I like festive. I’ve had this mani planned for months, ever since I did it on a whim for a marching band practice back in… October.

See how cute! Awwwwwww. Topped with one coat of Nubar Diamont. I’ve been having a topcoat mid-life crisis or something. It’s something new every day!


OPI Pink Me I’m Good! Three coats! Formula was terribly goopy – you can still see the grittiness and how goopy it truly was at the tips of my nails. I’m gonna try to thin it, probably, but I’m going to have my official opinion of the formula be PAIN IN MY ASS.

But ohhhhhhhhh, look at that. It is seriously marvelous.

It’s a bright pink jelly-ish-creme base loaded with opalescent and gold glitter. It’s friggin’ sick. I had to fight someone for this bottle. First, I pestered the sales associates. I used to be incredibly shy about doing this before I got into nail polish, but something about this hobby brings out the piranha in me. After pestering SAs got me a bottle of Claire’s Dreamcatcher, I never looked back. ANYWAY, I got two of them searching the store for me and then they came back and told me they had one bottle left… but it was on hold.

I FELT BAD FOR ABOUT TWO SECONDS, but then all of this gorgeous limited edition exclusiveness was in my hands and my willpower died.

Moral of the story: It’s always worth it to pester the sales associates.

K, BEDTIME FOR ME, CHICAS. Hope you enjoyed!

Happy Single’s Awareness Day!

I will be the first to admit that I love Valentine’s Day because I loved stuffed animals and candy. WHO DOESN’T LIKE STUFFED ANIMALS AND CANDY? Let’s all just let go of our pre-programmed hate for a consumerist driven holiday that makes self-esteem levels bottom out into the lower reaches of hell and focus on the candy and fuzzy animals!

Okay, maybe not. Either way, Valentine’s Day means PINK! And oh, do I love pink. Unfortunately, I apparently do not have pictures of any of my pink polish, so we’re going to say, OH DO I LOVE COLORS IN THE RED-ISH FAMILY!

Orly has one of the best formulas ever. I love Orly! This is Pink Chocolate, two coats. Look at how shiny it is! Delicious. Also, I think that pink chocolate would probably taste better than regular chocolate just on principle, but that’s just me.

I really do love pink, so it’s incredibly strange to me that I never wear pink polish. My phone is pink. My laptop case is pink. The awesome stretchy cover for my Chemistry book? PINK. IT’S ALL PINK. I confuse even myself.

ChG Heli-Yum, stamped with WnW Black, plate M71. Also known as the creepy girlhead plate. Some of the designs that come on the Konad plates honestly perplex me. I can’t tell you how many coats this is because this mani was the love-baby of a FAIL attempt at a dots manicure. I started out with two coats of Heli-Yum (almost a 1 coater! Works great with Konad), and I was like, HEY! LET’S DO DOTS! WHO GIVES A CRAP IF I DON’T HAVE A DOTTING TOOL!

Yeah, don’t be me.

Anyway, I wiped off the dots, put on another coat of Heli-Yum and konaded over the dents the dots made in my polish. At least I’m handy, right?

Goldie unnamed Red. If you see this, please do yourself a favor and shoot yourself in the face before you buy it. It comes in this set (I got mine at TJ Maxx, where two of the polishes were missing and one was cracked open, but I’M A SUCKER FOR A DEAL) with a sparkly blue that is JUST AS MUCH OF A PAIN AS THIS ONE IS and some grandma colors. This is 6 coats. And I spy with my little eye…. VNL! AFTER 6 COATS. AUUFRUHEFREUFUEFUH.

It was also a pain in the ass to clean up and stuck to my cuticles for days after. Hey, sounds a lot like love. HOW FITTING.

OPI Cinema Cinnamon. Or Cinnamon Cinema? Something along those lines. I got this from a friend, so it’s pretty old. It was super thick, so I added a buttload of thinner and it was easier to work with. This is two coats! I really love the color. (Do you like my masterful hiding of the smudge under my watermark? Oh, I know.)

The finish on this looks way strange because I was trying out a new top coat (SH Insta-Dri in the Red Bottle) and hadn’t got the hang of how to use it yet. Speaking of SH Insta-Dri in the Red Bottle, YOU SHOULD TRY IT. It’s not as quick dry as say, Poshe or Seche, but it’s a hell of a lot shinier and I get way less tip-wear. I want to try layering it over maybe Diamont, because that one has less of a tendency to peel off in sheets than the other two when you build on it.

So, that’s all for today, folks! Eat your weight in chocolate and have a great day!

Hello world!

Welcome to lacquerhead, home of Jazlyn and an intense love for all things nail and polishy. Disclaimer: This is not a serious blog. We come here to have fun and hear me yell about nail polish, funny things life throws at me and really heinous Disney productions. CLEAR? CLEAR. NOW BREAK!

What better way to kick off the blog than with GLITTER? Glitter is my friend, not food. (LET’S START A GAME. Anyone who identifies all of the hideous disney quotes in my posts gets one point. At the end of the month, whoever has the most points will be entered into a drawing and at the end of the year, I’LL GIVE SOMETHING AWAY. OHHHHHH SNAP.)

Please excuse the morphing watermarks. Some of these are with my old watermark, some with my new.

This beautiful, beautiful polish is called Emerald Sparkle, by China Glaze. This is three coats. It’s fine in two, but to really FEEEEEL the sparkle, you’ve gotta spring for three. Gorgeous. Smooth application, this one is a polish after my own heart.

Next up, the beautiful, the wonderful, the GLORRRRIOUS:

Let’s all pause to oooooooooooh, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. (Does that count as a disney quote? WHO KNOWS. POINTS FOR EVERYONE. FOUR FOR YOU, ALICE COCO. YOU GO ALICE COCO.)

OPI Absolutely Alice. She’s sexy! Look at that sparkle! That GLAAAAM! This was probably three coats. Formula was standard for a glitter – by standard, I mean it got absolutely EVERYWHERE during clean up, but what do you do. I’ll put up with it for THIS loveliness. Came off very easily with the tinfoil method. (I’m thinking of doing a tinfoil method tutorial. God knows it took me long enough to realize it WORKED. I was a nonbeliever too! I was reluctant to look like a space murderer around my home! But really, it is worth it.)

Oh swwwwwweet jesus. WE’RE BREAKIN’ FREE NOW. (Okay, that one was reaching a little bit.)

WnW Black Creme (1.5 coats!!), 3 coats of Pure Ice Strapless on rings. This is the best blue glitter polish in the entire world. You can try to tell me different. You can try to remind me that when you remove it, you find blue glitter in your pants and on your dogs for days after. BUT I WON’T LISTEN. IT IS AMAZING. IT SPARKLES IN THE DARK!! (Side note: WnW Black Creme? Best 99¢ ever spent. It applies better than my RBLs. WHAT!) Application is standard, no gloopyness ala SH Rockstar Pink, goes where you want, cleans up fairly easily. I am in love. See my eyes? They are hearts.

I love when you layer polishes and their names together actually sound like a polish. Grunge Breakup. It’s like an emo high school band waiting to happen.

Look at the pretty opalescent glitterrrrrrrrr.

RBL Grunge (2 coats) topped with Hard Candy Break Up (1 coat) & ChG Matte Magic middle finger. MAN, I just went all-out balls crazy that day or something. It came out so prettttttyy though! Excuse the horrendous cuticles/cleanup that I know were in these pictures, despite not having looked at them in a while. It was finals week. Enough said.

Zoya ROOOOOXXXYYYYYYYY. Roxy is my love. I wear her a LOT. Three coats. What I have to say about Roxy though is… she’s kind of a brat. She’s start by applying SO, SO NICELY! But by the third coat, somehow, she’s turned gloopy and hateful and god, you just want to go to bed but WHY WON’T THIS POLISH JUST APPLY, GODDAMMIT!

… But it’s pretty?

Claire’s Chunky Purple. This one was kinda gloopy, I remember. Not TOTALLY gloopy, just vaguely gloopy, like I should think about adding some thinner in a few months gloopy. Three coats.

I remember looking at this mani throughout the day trying to figure out if I liked it or not. It wasn’t until I went to take it off that I realized that I did, IN FACT, like it.

Now, I told this story on MUA, but I’m gonna tell it again because every time I mention/see this polish, it makes me think of it. I wore this polish to my ASL class last Thursday – it was my first class, I honestly had no idea what to expect.

WELL. What I got was an INCREDIBLY flamboyantly gay deaf man as my teacher. This guy was gay with a capital Gay. He was wearing a New Moon t-shirt. He batted his eyelashes when he signed “pretty”. He’s pretty much my new favorite person in the whole world.

So, we start the lesson. The first sign we go over? Hurt.

You laughed. Don’t lie to me.